Lies

I shared a poem with you yesterday
Everyone cares about what I have to say
I don't mind if you cost me my sleep
And I love swimming in pools that are very deep
My best friend is a Christmas elf
I spent last weekend building a shelf
Nobody really wants enduring youth
Every line of this poem is the truth

Cookies

Gingerbread, snickerdoodles, sugar, chocolate chip
Pralines, bars, a coconut flip
As huge as your plate or as small as a wisp
Forget about them in the oven and they burn to a crisp

Santa

Someone many children feared
Their faces red and their eyes teared
Who is this man
I'll hide if I can
We all know that isn't even a real beard

How He Eats

I want a bowl of cookies
I don't know how many
Just a bowl full of these
I don't know, more than two but less than twenty

I need to eat the cookies with a fork
And don't you dare touch my toes
No, I can't use the same fork
That would just be gross

Oh, and could you put the bowl on a plate
What is that look for??
Doesn't matter what I bring him at any rate
He'll probably make me bring him more

Toenail Haiku

Strange toenail haiku
Hope my toenails don't fall off!
That would not be good

Sleepytime

In the arms of sleep
Like a Smashing Pumpkins song
It's where I want to be
All day long

I don't want to drag myself out of bed when it's dark
Or when it's cold and my blankets are nice
I'm an owl, not a lark
I'm going to hit the snooze button at least twice

Don't Cram Jesus Down My Throat

Don't cram Jesus down my throat
When you send me cards, don't include a note
Telling me accepting Jesus will make me safe and well
But if I don't, I'll forever burn in hell
Trying to convert me isn't a helpful tool
It's rude at best, and at worst, cruel
And a sad, closed-minded distortion of
A message that should have been peace and love
So just stop it already